Tag: Santa’s Communications Consultant
As part of my work to optimize communication in order to make Santa’s travels safe this Christmas Eve, I was invited to participate in a very special mission today: a test run of Santa’s route! Did you notice anything unusual earlier this afternoon? It was just the elves and me stopping time for a moment to take a spin around the world on Santa’s … Read More Assist me in assisting Santa!
Since I have an important role in helping Santa arrive at his billions of destinations this year, I have top security clearance at the North Pole. This afternoon, I even got to take a glance into Santa’s bag! I noticed a superabundance of books. Upon closer examination, I realized that many of the books have the same title: New Jersey Folk Revival Music: History … Read More A sneak peek into Santa’s magical bag
Snowflake the elf is in charge of monitoring weather conditions worldwide in order to help Santa plan his path of travel. Since this is a monumental job, he has a whole team of elves working with him, each specializing in the weather of a different geographic region. The meteorologist elves get very excited when meteorological terms become widely used in common parlance. A few … Read More Vort—
This morning, while I was sitting at my gingerbread desk, I looked out the window and saw Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer playing some reindeer games a little bit too close to Santa’s sleigh. A couple of the elves arrived at the gilded vehicle within seconds, and I could see that the elves were excoriating the hooved hooligans. I opened my window to hear what … Read More No need to fear!
One of my favorite special jobs as the Graceful Grammarian was serving as Santa’s communications consultant in December of 2014. Santa asked me to help English speakers all over the world to communicate their requests to him clearly. Last December, he didn’t call me in for duty because I was very busy and feeling quite queasy. This December, I’m back on duty! Santa … Read More Santa’s communications consultant, take 2!
After an arduous couple of weeks during which I have spent many hours counseling Santa’s correspondents regarding their grammar and usage choices, I am tired! However, after drinking some hot chocolate garnished with candy canes, I now have a sudden burst of energy. I think it would be nice to write my own letter to Santa to invite him, Mrs. Claus, and the elves … Read More Santa’s Communications Consultant, Day 9: The hyphen’s progress
Christmas is only a few days away: it’s so close that Christmas Day is now on the 5-day forecast on the local news! Fiona from Franklin Lakes sent a letter to Santa today. Before he could bring himself to answer it, he sent it to me, asking me to help Fiona with her English usage. For the most part, her expression was great! However, … Read More Santa’s Communications Consultant, Day 8: A gaffe of historic proportions
Santa is so happy with the work I’m doing as his communications consultant that he has delivered one of my gifts early: the Graceful Grammarian now officially an LLC!
Later this week, we’ll continue with an exploration of errors to avoid in letters to Santa. Today, Santa has given me a day off, so let’s take a brief intermission. Let’s enjoy together this beautiful piece of prose, penned by Francis Pharcellus Church, Editor of The Sun, in response to Virginia O’Hanlon. Santa Claus is, of course, a saint, and was a real, historical … Read More Santa’s Communications Consultant, Day 6: An intermission
Santa Claus made a startling admission to me: the reason that Virginia O’Hanlon wrote to The Sun to find out whether Santa exists is that she first wrote to Santa himself, but he did not answer. “Why didn’t you answer her?” I asked. “Let me read her letter to you,” he began. “‘Dear Santa— I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends … Read More Santa’s Communications Consultant, Day 5: Previously withheld information